It is commonplace to be nervous on a first date, though do not let your nerves ruin your first impression. When you’re meeting someone for the first time, it makes sense to be a little cautious. You don’t know about their temperament or expectations, so playing it safe is the key. Be yourself, keep it casual, and aim to learn about your date rather than being judgmental. There are certain things you should never say on a first date, no matter how strongly you feel about something.
Avoid saying these things on the first meeting and increase your chances of landing a second date:
1. It’s surprising you’re still single
Be glad if your date turns out to be as stunning as their profile picture on the dating app. Do not embarrass them by questioning their single status. Smart and beautiful people suffer breakups and fail at relationships too, so don’t make a big deal out of it. You might say it as a compliment, though the person you are referring to might feel attacked. If your date is gorgeous or impressive, just tell them that in a straight forward manner; flattery gets you everywhere after all.
2. My ex
Any sentence that starts with ‘my ex’ is a red flag, and that goes both ways. If you keep bringing up your ex into the conversation with a potential partner, there is seriously something wrong with you. Such behavior indicates that you are not over your ex and that can be annoying to the person who was looking forward to making a connection with you. How would you feel if your date started comparing you with their ex or simply cannot stop talking about them?
3. You’re not my usual type
If you’re on a date with a person who is unlike anyone you’ve dated before, it’s probably a good thing. In case you feel uncomfortable or out of your element, you should still show some courtesy for the other person’s feelings. Telling them that they are not your usual type may come across as a negative comment. If you’re trying to tell them that they are different in a good way, you better make it clear. Do not make your date feel like an alien or outcast.
4. You have quite the appetite
If you have a problem with your date’s food choices or eating mannerisms, expressing your opinion is not a great idea. If you can’t help but notice their huge and unsettling appetite, try to be considerate about it. Perhaps they skipped a meal earlier or came famished after a long day at work. If a potential partner eating too much bothers you, there’s always the option to not see them again. Telling someone that they eat like a pig (even when using less condescending words) is just plain rude.
5. You remind me of my dad/mom/sibling
The person on a date with you will not appreciate a comparison to any of your family members. They are hoping for a romantic affiliation with you, which is why reference to familial relations is off-putting. Telling your date that they remind you of your mother or father naturally gives the impression that you possess mommy or daddy issues, which is problematic. If you mention your brother or sister, they are likely to assume that you want to keep things platonic.
6. My therapist says
There is nothing wrong about seeing a therapist; in fact, seeking professional help to overcome psychological challenges is a healthy practice. Nonetheless, sharing your therapy sessions with a stranger is not recommended. I’m not saying that your date will think you’re crazy, but it might appear that you are somewhat emotionally unstable. Everybody has baggage, but you’re not supposed to unburden it on someone you’re meeting for the first time. Focus on knowing your date rather than talking about yourself; then again, there are questions you must never ask on a first date.
7. You’d look great if
Most people put in a great deal of effort to look their best on a first date. If you say something like ‘you would look better if you wore less makeup’ or ‘you should grow a beard’, your date is going to feel insecure or disheartened. Your ungrateful remark could make them furious and they might retort with something more hurtful. Nobody is perfect; when you scrutinize someone’s flaws, remember that they could be doing the same thing with you. If you don’t like the way someone carries themselves, just let them be and move on.
8. I wouldn’t choose this place to meet up
If your date was the one who chose the place to meet up and you arrived on the spot willingly, do not complain about it. Your date has probably picked this place for a reason, so you could at least give it a chance. If you have a serious problem with the suggested spot, you should tell them right away and propose someplace that you prefer. For example, your date may think that going to a rowdy carnival is ideal for a fun first date; on the contrary, you might prefer to meet up at a quiet and cozy café for coffee. If you have concerns about a meeting place, express them before showing up at the place.
9. We would make beautiful babies
You hardly know the person you’re meeting for the first time. You never know how the date will go or what the other person is looking for in terms of a relationship. If you fall in love at first sight or sense great chemistry instantly, acknowledge the possibility that your date might not share the same point of view. When you start talking about things like marriage and children on the first meeting, it’s probable that your date will freak out and flee.
10. I am not looking for anything serious
It’s totally fine if you are looking for something casual or ‘no strings attached’, but it’s necessary to keep other options open. For instance, you might score a date with someone exceptional and reconsider your relationship goals. If you resist any kind of commitment from the beginning, nine out of ten people you meet are going to feel insulted or offended. See how the first date goes, and you can decide what comes next later.